The Pill-Pushing Doctor

What?

Medicine man who treats minor deviations in personality and behaviour as neurochemical imbalances, attacking them with a steady supply of uppers, downers, screamers, and laughers.

Who?

Your clinical yet cheerful family doctor.

When?

Usually about twenty minutes late.

Where?

Usually on a swivel chair for some reason.

How?

One for the patient, one for the doctor.

Why?

In ancient times, societies were small enough for every possible manifestation of monkey nature to find a role within the tribe. Modern civilisation is far too large and variable to encompass such variance without compromising its structural integrity, so any divergence from the blueprint is viewed as a threat. While the Pedantic Officer hunts and eliminates deviations in behaviour, the Pill-Pushing Doctor maintains the blueprint by treating any internal (never mind, the pills are working now I’m gonna watch TV)